An eight year old English bulldog named Brutus was relieved of his duties as the Pickneyville Middle School mascot last week after humping another male bulldog named Sparkles at a basketball pep rally.
Under pressure from the "Don't Say Gay" bill advanced by the Tennessee State Senate, which will make it illegal for any teacher or school official to discuss homosexuality with students K-8, PMS teachers were unable to explain to the eighth-graders attending the pep-rally what was happening when Brutus mounted Sparkles.
"Ewh, he's gay, Brutus is gay," cried students as teachers and counselors scrambled to silence them and evacuate the rally. The pandemonium lasted nearly half an hour as students pressed questions that would be illegal to answer.
PMS principal Richard Denial issued this statement Friday:
"What Brutus did was uh, well, he was, um, happy. Brutus is very happy but he'll be moving on from PMS to avoid this kind of, um, confusion, over ,um, reproduction(?) in the future. He, uh, well, I don't know what to say. What can I say here?"
The incident has caused such uproar among parents that the Tennesee Bureau of Investigation is launching a provisional investigation into the conduct of the teachers in order to ensure no synonyms for homosexuality were used during the debacle.
TBI spokesman Buster Humphrey commented "We're reviewing the situation for any use of the H-word and the G-word by school personnel. To either confirm or deny these concepts exist would technically be in violation of measure SB49."
If found guilty, teachers could face up to six months in prison, where they will learn firsthand that homosexuality does not exist.
Senator Stacey Campfield (R.- Tenn) had been pushing legislation on the issue for over six years, when finally it was passed through to the senate floor last week.
Campfield's crusade is reportedly the result of enduring a harsh southern childhood as a boy with a traditionally female first name.
Apparently life ain't easy for a boy named Stacey, either.
Under pressure from the "Don't Say Gay" bill advanced by the Tennessee State Senate, which will make it illegal for any teacher or school official to discuss homosexuality with students K-8, PMS teachers were unable to explain to the eighth-graders attending the pep-rally what was happening when Brutus mounted Sparkles.
"Ewh, he's gay, Brutus is gay," cried students as teachers and counselors scrambled to silence them and evacuate the rally. The pandemonium lasted nearly half an hour as students pressed questions that would be illegal to answer.
PMS principal Richard Denial issued this statement Friday:
"What Brutus did was uh, well, he was, um, happy. Brutus is very happy but he'll be moving on from PMS to avoid this kind of, um, confusion, over ,um, reproduction(?) in the future. He, uh, well, I don't know what to say. What can I say here?"
The incident has caused such uproar among parents that the Tennesee Bureau of Investigation is launching a provisional investigation into the conduct of the teachers in order to ensure no synonyms for homosexuality were used during the debacle.
TBI spokesman Buster Humphrey commented "We're reviewing the situation for any use of the H-word and the G-word by school personnel. To either confirm or deny these concepts exist would technically be in violation of measure SB49."
If found guilty, teachers could face up to six months in prison, where they will learn firsthand that homosexuality does not exist.
Senator Stacey Campfield (R.- Tenn) had been pushing legislation on the issue for over six years, when finally it was passed through to the senate floor last week.
Campfield's crusade is reportedly the result of enduring a harsh southern childhood as a boy with a traditionally female first name.
Apparently life ain't easy for a boy named Stacey, either.
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